Pretty Woman
by teamfreewill82
Summary: This is set during/after The One with the Birth (s1ep23) and is, of course, Mondler before Mondler was canon. *smiley


**Disclaimer: I don't own** _ **Friends**_ **or anything pertaining to it. All the rights go to the rightful owners.**

Once Ben had fallen to sleep—and after he had been asleep for more than two and a half minutes—the gang dispersed, Ross dropping onto Carol's (and Susan's…) couch while Phoebe headed back to her place and Rachel left for the apartment. With a last kiss to the baby, and her brother, Monica followed suit. Chandler and Joey went with her and, because Joey had delivered two babies in a day, he practically had to drag himself into his own apartment. The other two laughed and entered Monica's apartment to check for any movies playing.

As Monica settled herself into the couch Chandler called from the kitchen, "Hey, popcorn?"

She turned and glanced at him, flipping the television on. "Seriously? It's like one in the morning."

Chandler paused. "Popcorn?" he repeated with his usual mocking grin. Monica rolled her eyes.

"Fine. Make a mess and I kill you." This time Chandler rolled his eyes. "Oooh; how about _The Breakfast Club_?" she suggested, stopping her channel surfing.

Chandler snorted. The popcorn started to pop as he leaned against the counter. "No way are we watching _that_ again," he said.

"It's a classic…" Monica muttered, but continued looking. " _Footloose_?" Her nose wrinkled, though, after a second. "Never mind." Chandler retrieved a bowl and walked over to Monica, sitting beside her. She flipped her socked feet onto his lap and he said, "Okay." She stuck her tongue out at him and he chuckled.

"What's got you all peppy?"

"I'm an _aunt_ , Chandler," she said. "It's been a couple of hours; I can see how you could forget."

"Relax, relax, claws away. I didn't forget. And haven't you found anything yet?" he asked her. "Jesus, by the time you actually turn something on _I'll_ be having a baby."

Monica didn't reply. " _Pretty Woman_." Chandler groaned in disgust. "It's either that or _Jurassic Park_."

He nodded quickly. "Please, God, turn _that_ on."

Monica smiled and flipped the channel backwards. "Julia it is."

He dropped his head back against the cushion. " _Mon'_ …"

"Is this my apartment?" she asked him.

Chandler made a sound of annoyance. " _Fine_." After another moment he added, "You know, I could just leave."

"Then I wouldn't have a foot rest," she quipped in return. "Relax. And anyway it's not like it's playing from the beginning; we missed it."

"Oh, what a pity," Chandler said, his tone bland. She lightly swatted his arm and took a handful of popcorn. She looked around and Chandler, with an eye roll, handed her the paper towel he had grabbed. She grinned at him; he allowed half a smile back to her.

"You know, I don't get the big deal," he spoke nearly 30 minutes later. "How come every movie's gotta be about romance? That isn't how life goes; everyone knows that."

Monica popped a corn into her mouth. "Doesn't matter. It _should_ be that way and that's it."

"But _why_?"

"Chandler, ask the raging American public, not _me_."

"Real people don't even meet like they did," he added. "We meet at… coffee joints or on shitty blind dates."

"I should call Phoebe," Monica said.

"Why?"

"So I can ask her to see if not talking is anywhere in your future."

Chandler fake laughed. "Cute. Real funny," he told her. "But you agree with me. It's all crap designed to make people go out for Valentine's Day."

"Have you always been such a cynic?" Monica questioned him, throwing up her hands.

"Yeah," he confirmed, "but my dashing good looks and sparkling personality blinded you until this point."

"Chandler, love isn't a _bad_ thing."

"Oh, hey, I like love, Mon', really, I _love_ love," Chandler assured her.

Monica turned her eyes back to the screen. "Sex doesn't count."

Chandler stared at her for a moment. "That isn't it. How'd we get so off point? Look at me and you; how'd we meet?"

"What're you talking about, Chandler?"

"I _mean_ we met a few years ago and became friends, right, that's what real life is. Not love at first sight or stuff like that. It's a fantasy."

"You believe that?"

"Don't you? You've always been the sensible one."

"That doesn't mean I don't want _true love_." Monica shifted on the couch, looking at her hands.

"Well, there isn't one person for everyone," said Chandler. "Just the one person you happen to find in your lifetime." Monica didn't respond, but then spoke, "We met at my house."

"Okay, because that reminder was necessary?"

"You asked how we met, Chandler!"

"I _remember_ , Monica, thanks. Ever hear of _rhetorical_?"

Monica laughed and leaned her head against the arm of the couch. "I can't believe we've all known each other so long! God; we're _old_!"

"Hey, maybe you're old, but I'm…" Chandler's face wrinkled up. " _Shit_."

"Oh, come on, I guess it isn't that bad," said Monica. "Being Forever Alone isn't so bad. Just ask… Gwen Stefani."

Chandler looked at her incredulously. " _Gwen Stefani_?"

"Shut up; she's the only one who came to mind."

"You know, Mon', I did offer to marry you." Monica opened her mouth and he held up a hand. "Can I talk without being hit for two seconds?" She rolled her eyes. "Thanks so much. Look, you aren't _unmarriable_. For whatever reason, if we _aren't_ married, I already told you I would. I have _no idea_ why you _wouldn't_ be, but that's it. And, for the record, getting you pregnant would totally not… suck." Monica bit her lip to hide her smile. "Hit if you need to."

She patted his shoulder and his wince relaxed after she pulled her hand back. "Thanks, Chandler. For saying that."

"'Course. Baby'd be lucky to have us as parents." Monica smiled as he checked his watch; seeing the time, he jumped.

"Way later than I thought," he said. "Gotta go. Joey's probably having a fit." He grinned and lifted Monica's feet off of himself in order to stand, helping her up as well. She walked him to the door and before he exited she said, "Hey, Chandler?"

"Yeah?" Monica approached him and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head against his sweater. Chandler smiled into her hair for a moment and then pulled away. Her eyes, tired and content, stared up at him. He stepped back with his smile remaining and murmured, "'Night."

"'Night. See you tomorrow?"

"Bet on it."


End file.
